The Chuck E. Cheese’s Plan

Published Date: December 4th, 2008
Category: Weekly Thought

 So ever since we have returned from Disney World, G has been acting BAD. Waking up in the middle of the night every few hours, refusing to put on his clothes, talking back to me and yes, the number one bad boy of them all—he has actually “hit” me a few times.

Which leads me to believe that the Magic Kingdom magically turned our child into a Class A brat.

 

With that said, what is a sassy mama supposed to do? We certainly don’t believe in spanking (although lately I have been tempted). The normal threats are not working and much to my chagrin, our child DOES NOT BELIEVE SANTA IS WATCHING ALL THE TIME! Although he has yet to receive any coal in his stocking, thanks to the  brown paper bag my friend Jen surreptitiously slipped me under the Carmen’s dinner table last night (they have a charcoal grill, we have gas), the boy will indeed be getting coal this year.

 

But as I have learned, the number one rule of being a good parent is to stay one step ahead of your child, so in case the coal in the St. Nick’s stocking does not work on Saturday, I came up with Plan B.

 

Otherwise known as “The Chuck E. Cheese’s Plan.”

 

The plan is so simple, that even I worry if it will work. For every day G is a good boy, he will earn a star. And when he has accumulated ten stars, we will go to that hellish place in some sort of a strip mall in the middle of somewhere and make all of his Chuck E. Cheese’s dreams come true (and yes, it is indeed Chuck E. Cheese’s, which I know leaves all of us grammar snobs wondering Chuck E. Cheese’s what? Chuck E. Cheese’s Game Room? Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Parlor? Chuck E. Cheese’s House of Pain)?

 

In case you are thinking—what an ingenious plan! How did this woman come up with such stellar parenting? Alas, I did not. I just got it from the “Rewards Calendars” section of the fascinating Chuck E. Cheese’s website. They have about twelve different types of “Rewards Calendars” you can print out for you child to encourage him to do such things as “use the potty”, “sleep through the night”, or my all-time favorite, for “being active.”

 

Being active? Now that says a lot about our country where we reward children for “being active” with tokens for free pizza and mindless video games.

 

Regardless, this is the plan. Maybe I won’t have to institute it because the coal will be so heart-shattering, G will shape right up. Or maybe, our Chuck E. Cheese’s-free days are sadly coming to an end and we will now have a new horrid weekend social outlet.  And if this indeed the case, I plead—please come join us! Maybe we can make it not so bad. We can sneak in flasks and really, who doesn’t like a good game of skee-ball every now and then…

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 4th, 2008 at 2:42 pm and is filed under Weekly Thought. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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