Ten Reasons you Know you are Too Old to go Back to School

Published Date: September 21st, 2011
Category: Weekly Thought

1)      You have lower back pain not because you were drunkenly falling under cars in sub-zero, icy weather or because you decided it was a good idea to participate in your roommate’s boyfriend’s “shopping cart races,” but because you are too old to carry a back pack full of $500 worth of books.

2)      You can’t believe you just spent $500 on books, which is how much you spent on beer for ALL FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE.

3)      You eagerly wait for hand-outs from your teacher on the 1st day of class and are told that “everything is available on Blackboard.”

4)      You immediately look at the Blackboard in your actual classroom and see that it is blank.

5)      The 20-something next to you kindly explains that Blackboard is an online organizational system that you can access via your college’s email system.

6)      You didn’t realize you had an email address with your college.

7)      After telling the helpful 20-something that you haven’t been to school in 18 years, he looks at you and says, “Wow! You look good for your age.”

8)      You now realize that every time you told someone they looked good for their age, you were really just telling them, “Wow! You’re really old!”

9)      You then pull out your Transformers pencil sharpener and pencil case that you stole from your 6-year-old because you are too cheap to purchase your own school supplies.

10)  The little hipster boy sitting next to you in his skinny jeans and tight retro t-shirt looks at your Transformer pencil sharpener and is wondering if he should buy one?  You barely notice because you are SO TIRED. Because it turns out going back to school at age 38 when you have a child and a husband who works all the time BLOWS.

And every day my list grows just a LITTLE bit longer. But I push on so maybe one day, if I’m lucky, you too can come visit me at your local Walgreens so I can test you for strep throat…Yeah nursing school!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 21st, 2011 at 9:21 pm and is filed under Weekly Thought. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply