What Happens in Kindergarten Stays in Kindergarten

Published Date: December 17th, 2010
Category: Weekly Thought

In case you are not up on the kindergarten cool factor, the cool kids these days are losing their teeth.

At school. Which, when you are a volunteer lunch lady, is kind of gross.

Nothing like having to find some used Ziploc baggie to put some OTHER child’s mangy looking tooth into. And then helping them shove their TINY tooth in its crumbly bag into his miniscule pocket so his parents can take pictures of it and more importantly, so the tooth fairy can come and insure that our children become materialistic beings like ourselves.

Well, poor G has not lost any of his teeth. Not only has he not lost them, none of them particularly look like they are going anywhere. He has therefore become a “tooth-losing enabler.” What does that mean, you wonder? It means that his friends who have loose teeth come to him at lunch to see what types of crunchy foods he has to offer. And then they really work on it to GET THAT TOOTH OUT.

The other day, one of his friends, O, had a loose tooth. So G decided to share his bag of radishes with him (what kind of mom sends radishes to school for lunch, you wonder? The kind of mom whose child NEVER wants to buy the school lunch, so she gets creative). After TWELVE radish slices, what do you know, out came O’s tooth. I guess this is what occurred, per his mother, because as you will see, parents are NOT supposed to know about ANYTHING that goes on at school. The probably only found out this much because she noticed her child was missing a tooth when he came home:

O:  Well, my tooth was loose, so G gave me something crunchy.

O’s mother:  What crunchy did you eat????  You ARE NOT supposed to share food (O has a nut allergy).

O:  MOM, it DIDN’T have nuts.  It was a radish.  A radish that wasn’t spicy.

 When O’s mother asked him if she could call me to tell me this funny story, this was his response:

 O:  Mom, we aren’t supposed to tell Moms about what happens in school.

O’s mother:  So, it’s like a pact?

O:  Yes, a pact that we don’t tell moms anything about school.

 So parents in G’s class, beware—from this point on, you will be forever clueless about what REALLY goes on in school. And like the Las Vegas campaign, I fear this might be a national pact, so don’t feel like you are in the clear, Northeastern and Southern friends. Oh no—what happens in kindergarten STAYS in kindergarten…

This entry was posted on Friday, December 17th, 2010 at 12:03 pm and is filed under Weekly Thought. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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