What’s Up

Published Date: June 27th, 2008
Category: Weekly Thought

 

Today I had to give a urine sample while my 3-year old watched.

 

I am not used to this. I am used to squeezing in a doctor’s appointment between deadlines and meetings. I am used to walking over to my downtown doctor from my downtown job. I am used to it taking all of an hour.

 

Yet, when you think you have a UTI and you have a new existence as a stay-at-home mother, this is how your day goes…

 

As we are walking to a new beach park on Howard Street (why did I think this was a good idea?), my doctor returns my call. I sit down on a bench to take it while I convince G to stay in his stroller. Various unemployed men with conspicuous brown papered-bottles walk by and give me a few “Wassup’s?” as I have the following conversation with my doctor.

 

Doctor: Are you having burning during urination?

 

Me: Yes. Excuse me for a minute, “hey, wassup?” (to the fifth man who walks by. I certainly do not want to be unfriendly).

 

Doctor: How long has it been occurring?

 

Me: Is today Thursday? (how hopelessly dumb and out-of-touch do I sound?) I guess since Tuesday? Excuse me for a minute, “G—don’t you DARE get out of that stroller to pick up that half-eaten sucker.”

 

Doctor: Okay, we’ll need to have you come in for a urine sample. We are open until 5:30.

 

Me: Thank you.

 

And I quickly hang up before yet one more unemployed man or the lingering sixteen-year old lifeguard can hear any more about my urination issues. And of course before I remember to ask where the validated parking is. Because, did I mention, my doctor is in the Neiman Marcus building on Michigan Avenue?

 

Perfect.

 

So after going to the aforementioned park (which turned out to be charming, once we left the unemployed, boozing-in-the afternoon men behind), we got back in our car and drove downtown. From Howard Avenue. During G’s naptime.

 

So this is where I start to wonder to myself, “What SHOULD I be doing right now?”

 

Is it bad that I am skipping his nap so I can go to the doctor? It’s not like I am skipping his nap to go join the unemployed men in the park for a drink.

 

What do stay-at-home mothers do with their children when they need to unexpectedly go to the doctor?

 

A small voice inside my head said, “Skip his nap. Bring him to the doctor. Get some Starbucks. Go shopping at H & M.”

 

So I did just that. Whatever.

 

We tromped back into the car and I totally told G we were going to a NEW park near Mama’s doctor. Not a total lie. I feel like I saw some sort of a park near the MCA once.

 

We finally get there. I somehow find a meter spot (after yelling obscenities at a man who knowingly attempted to take my spot away from me).

 

I am so not getting any mother-of-the-year awards at this point.

 

We amble over to my doctor’s office and then it was like a ray of sunshine shown upon me—the receptionist gave ME a urine sample cup and HIM…a sucker.

 

Smart lady.

 

And the rest of the story tells itself. Yes, I did pee in a cup in front of my boy. We did leave the office with drug samples and prescriptions. Although I did not hit Starbucks, we somehow magically found the park near the MCA (it is on Chicago, behind the firehouse, for those in the need of a downtown park. Went over well since it has a train jungle gym).

 

And most importantly?

 

I found an adorable black, smocked sundress at H & M for a mere $13.

 

Now that’s what’s up.

 

 

 

This entry was posted on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 6:33 am and is filed under Weekly Thought. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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