1)      That your water park has a bar. Within the perimeter of the actual water park. That serves ACTUAL alcoholic drinks and not non-alcoholic drinks. Because those are the biggest oxymoron of them all.

2)      Maybe that your preschooler knows he will indeed get his face wet if he goes to a water park. And that he could have gone to the hot tub at his grandparents’ house, located twenty minutes away from his house, for free.

3)      If your preschooler won’t go on any of the little kid water slides because he’ll get his face wet, walk into the fabulous interactive water playground because he is afraid that the big bucket of water will be poured on him (even after you have explained FIVE times that they ring little bells for 30 seconds BEFORE the big bucket of water pours out, therefore insuring anyone and everyone to get out of the way), or even go on the Lazy River that the babies are on FOR GOD’S SAKE because he MIGHT get his face wet, make sure you can leave right away and get your money back and not have to stay overnight in ROCKFORD.

4)      When you stay overnight in Rockford because you wanted to make sure you had PLENTY of time at the said water park, do NOT think that the hotel rooms closest to the actual water park are a good idea. Because unless your child LOVES the water park and cannot get enough of it, they are LOUD rooms and entail you to have conversations like these:

Me (turning to my husband): Why are there loud, shrieking girls running up and down the hallway outside our room at 9:30 pm?

Husband: I don’t know. What do you want me to do about it?

Me (after disdainfully looking at husband, dressed only in his underpants): Well, clearly you can’t go out there dressed like that. I guess I’ll have to take care of it.

Me (loudly opening the door and sighing, almost getting whacked in the arm as loud, shrieking girls run by): Excuse me (to the girls, who have now stopped in their tracks), do you know WHO is running up and down the hallway? My little boy is trying to sleep and keeps getting woken up by LOUD, RUDE girls?

Girl #1: Oh, I don’t know!

Girl #2: Nope. Me neither.

All said as they quietly walked off. And then started shrieking TWO minutes later.

5)      Did I mention to insure that the water park has a bar? Because when all else fails, like it will when you dumbly decide to take your preschooler to a water park, at least you can get a cheap pina colada, close your eyes, and pretend you are in Jamaica…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 6th, 2010 at 1:25 pm and is filed under Weekly Thought. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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