G lost his first pet this week. And to be honest, I think I was more distraught than he was. Although that could be because I felt slightly responsible for the fish’s death since I:
 
a) damaged his body structure by accidentally trapping him under the filter while I cleaned his tank
 
b) overfed him. I just couldn’t [...]

 
So yesterday I punched “35” for my age into the treadmill calorie counter for the last time. Next time I run, I will be 36. Normally I don’t find myself working out the day before my birthday. I am usually on the couch drinking. Or eating. Or eating and drinking. Always watching Beverly Hills 90210 [...]

 
How to Aid your 4-year-old Boy in Giving a Urine Sample
 
1) Take off your pink raincoat you just spent $20 dry-cleaning.
 
2) Do not place your newly purchased iced coffee on the floor, right next to the toilet.
 
3) Do not give your 4-year-old a choice about sitting down or standing to give his urine sample. [...]

 
So my mother explained the concept of “April Fool’s” to G, so I was all ready this morning with my first joke. I thought I was being so funny and clever when I woke him up and said,
 
“Time to get ready to go to school!”
 
(Wednesday is a non-school day)
 
As he ignored me I gleefully said,
 
“April [...]