One small whiff of
                                    the aging lady sitting
                                    next to me and it is
                                    as if I am
                                    eight again
                                    Standing in Babish’s
                                    pink-flowered bathroom with
                                    pink tiles and
                                    (yes) pink tub
                                    Watching her
                                    slowly rub the
                                    white chalky paste on her
                                    wrinkled face
                                    I remember the
                                    Maple syrup jar filled with
                                    checkers [...]

 
I think the first time
you said you
loved me was
under this same trellis at
the Chicago Botanic Garden
 
Is that why this
place beckons me?
I am no
Lily Pulitzer-wearing
North Shore Mama
 
Yet those roses they
call to me like a
freshly-squeezed mojito
on a
warm summer night
 
Those tasty roses
those little whores of a
flower that
beguile me with their
cheap aromas
 
Nothing like the
clinical roses [...]

 
Sipping
sangria in
the sunshine
The shrill of a
seashell played by a
Japanese man
A white bandana wrapped
around his
jet-black hair
The Kokyo Taiko drums
pound in the background
Their rhythm
climbs into my heart
beats into my bloodstream
 
My son and husband
are entranced with the
symmetry of sound
these
foreign drums make
Only I can hear the
faint trill of the
train as [...]

 
Sour milk and
sticky apple juice fingers
brushed through
Baby shampoo-ed hair
 
Unwashed teddy bears and
slightly dank blankies
resting next to your warm body encased in
Dreft-washed Elmo PJs
 
Then of course there are the aromas of
belly laughs and
dark, dark eyes and
the eternal smiles of sleep
 
The small grasp of your
somehow strong finger while you
dream of times that still
have no meaning [...]

 
How does one dress for a
Catholic school open house?
When you
sometimes look in the mirror and
are shocked to realize you are
even a mother.
 
So far your expertise with
dressing yourself is in
 
first dates
happy hours
concerts
weddings (including your own)
business meetings
 
But never as a Protestant mother
possibly interested in getting her
sometimes shy 3-year old
into the local Catholic pre-school.
 
Would a pleated, plaid [...]

 
Pontoon boats glide across the
lake like
prehistoric relics
 
Dinosaurs of the
fresh water and
open-mouthed bass
 
Scooping up
lost lime-green rafts
along their heavy path and
 
Silently returning them
to their
sleepy owners.
 

 
 
 
Wind Chimes
 
 
 
It’s as easy as
lunch on the back deck
the taste of summer captured in a
single watermelon slice
 
We are
sandy and hot, but
hungry for French fries and
the sound of wind chimes
 
And it is a
day like this where
I know there is
no other job
 
I need.
 
 
 
p.s. I’m taking the week off, so I will post again on July 28th. [...]

 
She used to say
 
I see Mama in your eyes
 
And I would search
looking into her dark
almond-shaped eyes
Looking for a glimpse
perhaps a small sighting of 4-year old me
With long, shiny hair and
full bangs.
 
I would finally find an image of me
and the bond we felt was like
liquid harmony flowing between us
the purest of connections
 
And now [...]

 
                                    Hanging in a bag
                                    on the back of my
                                    bedroom door handle
                                    Taunting me with your
                                    peep toes and
                                    shiny gold lamé straps
 
                                    How I love you
 
                                    For a mere
                                    fourteen dollars I, too, could
                                    dance like Baby in her
                                    filmy, organza dress and
                                    shimmering shoes
 
                                    Yet, why do I hold back [...]

 
It is a word that
you think you will
never use as
a young mother
 
Those perfect mothers may say
how irresponsible
how undeserving she is to have that child
how utterly lacking in respect for all that is
sacred in motherhood
 
Yet as you lay in your bed
trying to let go of a migraine
that you have had now for
 
Ten Days
 
listening [...]