How quickly time has gone. How are you eight and how do I have an eight-year-old child? I look at the chubby pictures of you scattering our walls and it seems like so long ago, longer ago even than my own childhood, that you were this open-mouthed laughing baby. But this year brought you so [...]

Remember when we were seven, going on eight and we learned there was no Santa Claus? Do you remember that moment when you realized life was against you, your parents were big fat liars, and the only people you could trust was your 7-year-old friend and his older brother, Andy? I do. It was the [...]

  This year, my darling boy, you have done so much. You have: 1)      Taken up meditation. Since you have decided you are a Buddhist (who celebrates Christmas, of course). 2)      Explained to your grandmother how one eats edamame. 3)      Ridden through the locks of the Chicago River on a large boat and were reprimanded [...]

I almost threw up today because I was so nervous. So nervous for my son’s first piano recital, that is. And why was I nervous, you wonder? Because in my SEVEN years of piano lessons, I absolutely refused to participate in any sort of piano recital. Or to play the piano in front of any [...]

1)      You have lower back pain not because you were drunkenly falling under cars in sub-zero, icy weather or because you decided it was a good idea to participate in your roommate’s boyfriend’s “shopping cart races,” but because you are too old to carry a back pack full of $500 worth of books. 2)      You [...]

Why isn’t there some sort of guidance document or protocol for you to follow when your child loses his first tooth? Specifically in the: a)      Tooth Fairy back-story b)      Monetary transaction expectations I have to say, we were utterly unprepared for this whole Tooth Fairy thing. Which is a trifle surprising since we have had [...]

You spend your whole parenting existence grooming your son to be a rock star or an internationally known artist or writer or even just a regular old cowboy, and in the end, he just wants to play golf and be an accountant. You try not to be disappointed; you really attempt to NOT be a [...]

Most people work to provide their families food and a roof over their heads. Others are just working for the weekend. And then there’s me. I’m working for Legos. Yep, Legos. At least that is what my son thinks. Like most 6-year-old boys, he is obsessed with Legos. It turns out, you can NEVER have [...]

So it really wasn’t a word I wanted to teach my son. At age 6. But like most things you don’t want your child to do/know/understand/feel at a young age, teaching him the word “manscaping” was an accident. It was an ordinary Monday morning. We were all rushing around, getting ready for work and school, [...]

Or Fridays. How can I not like Fridays, you wonder? Because it is “popcorn day” at G’s school. For those of you who aren’t up-to-date in the various fundraising options at elementary schools, let me explain—the 8th graders sell popcorn to the students on Fridays to raise money for their Washington, D.C. trip. Which is [...]